The Betrayer: Tales of Pern Coen (Legacy Book 1) Page 8

  “Did you have anywhere in particular that you wanted to go?” he asked.

  “Bach, actually,” she answered, fiddling with Rhosyn’s mane. “I’ve only been down to the village twice since I arrived.”

  He went unnaturally still, pressing his lips together into a slight grimace.

  “If you’d rather not come…”

  “No,” he replied, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. “Bach is fine.”

  “You’re sure?” she asked, arching a brow. “We could go somewhere else if you really wanted to.”

  “Yes.” He lifted his chin before squaring his shoulders. “We can even visit my aunt and uncle while we’re there, if you would like.”

  She was still puzzled over his strange behavior, but his offer caught her attention. “Would they mind?”

  “Not in the slightest.”

  She was fairly certain that Bleddyn wouldn’t have given the same answer, but she was also eager to meet their father’s family again. Her memories of them were limited at best and she would prefer to at least speak with them before the wedding. And who knows if I’ll get the opportunity otherwise if Bleddyn has his way?

  “If we cut through the woods, we’ll be less likely to be seen,” she said, clucking her tongue and turning Rhosyn in the direction of the distant tree line.

  Niall urged Gealach forward, his stallion easily keeping pace with her mare while Rhew trotted along obediently at Gealach’s side. Ciara was surprised that Niall didn’t push for conversation while they rode, as he had always been talkative, but she was grateful for the silence all the same, happy to listen to the steady footfalls of the horses and the wind whistling through the trees. There was a relief in being away from the castle, one that she wasn’t sure she wanted to ponder too deeply.

  As they grew closer to the village, she began to notice Niall’s posture became more rigid. By the time they rode into the middle of the village square, his jaw was set and he was continually twisting the ring on his right hand. The behavior was odd for him; he’d never been one to shy away from a crowd. The square bustled with activity, full of villagers and vendors looking to sell their wares. Ciara pulled Rhosyn to a halt, knowing it would be easier to lead her through the crowds. Niall did the same with Gealach and Rhew pressed close to her master’s side, but as Niall led the stallion along next to her, Ciara couldn’t help but notice the way his gaze darted among the crowd.

  “Are you alright?” she asked.

  “Fine,” he answered, though his jaw was still tight. “My aunt and uncle’s is this way.”

  She let him take the lead, glancing at the vendor stalls as they walked by them. It felt like it had been ages since she had been beyond the walls of Ciall. A small display of daggers caught her attention and she slowed her steps to get a better look at them. The tall, red-haired man behind the stall saw her looking and gave her a friendly smile before his gaze went to Niall. When the man called Niall’s name, he froze. Ciara shot Niall a questioning glance but he cleared his throat and turned to the stranger.

  “Doran,” he said, gesturing from her to the red-haired man. “This is Ciara of Arth. Ciara, my cousin Doran.”

  “Odran’s brother?” she asked, vaguely recognizing the man’s name as she joined Niall in front of the stall.

  “Yes,” Doran answered. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Ciara.”

  “You as well,” she replied, perusing the stall and admiring the fine craftsmanship of the blades on display. “Is this your work?”

  Doran nodded. “Most of it, yes.”

  “It’s beautiful,” she told him, running a hand over one of the blades.

  Doran thanked her before he pulled Niall into conversation about something to do with Niall’s uncle, Macsen. As the two men talked, she was given a few moments to study the weapons before her. She picked up one of the daggers, admiring the bear engraving on the hilt. It matched the bear bracelet she had slipped on after changing earlier.

  “Do you like it?”

  She started at Niall’s voice, caught off guard by how close he had come to stand beside her.

  “It’s lovely,” she replied, biting her lip and setting the dagger down. “But probably not the most appropriate thing for the future Banrion of Seabhac.”

  She mustered up a weak smile, but Niall only frowned in return. When she was younger, she had enjoyed collecting various weapons, largely at her father’s encouragement, but Bleddyn had disparaged the idea, much like her mother had. When she had come to Ciall, it had been yet another thing she’d given up to appease Bleddyn’s sensibilities.

  “I would think,” Niall said, glancing at the dagger before looking back at her, “that the future Banrion of Seabhac would be able to decide for herself what is appropriate and what is not.”

  She looked away, biting the inside of her cheek. Her doubts circled around in her thoughts and she was afraid that if she stood in such close proximity to him a moment longer, she would be sorely tempted to ride back to the castle and tell Bleddyn that the wedding was off.

  “Are you ready to continue?” she asked, backing away from the stall.

  His gaze flitted back to the blade she had just set down. “In a moment.”

  She watched in surprise as he picked up the dagger and then proceeded to purchase it from Doran. After exchanging coin and bidding his cousin farewell, Niall stepped back into the crowd. Ciara fell in beside him.

  “Here,” he said, passing her the dagger as they walked. “It suits you.”

  She blinked rapidly, hesitating a moment before taking it from him. “I— thank you, but… why?”

  He shrugged, not meeting her gaze though she could swear she saw his cheeks redden. “If you like it, I see no reason for you not to have it. I remember how much you loved your collection.”

  Her throat thickened and she swallowed hard. “It’s lovely. Thank you.”

  “And I can vouch for Doran’s craftsmanship,” he said with the hint of a smile.

  The flutter in Ciara’s stomach was impossible to ignore. She told herself that it had been a token of friendship, nothing more, but the fact that he hadn’t disparaged her desire for such things meant more than she could put into words. For all of Bleddyn’s gifts, and there had been many, she had often wondered if he had ever taken the time to notice what she enjoyed or deemed important. Even Rhosyn, as much as she loved the mare, had been purchased with the intent of eventually adding prized bloodlines to the Ri’s stable.

  The crowded streets didn’t allow her to be distracted by her thoughts for long and eventually they came to a stop in front of a modest home. They tied the horses out front before climbing the steps, Rhew joining them at Niall’s command. Ciara stayed just behind Niall, fidgeting with her bracelet as a knot began forming in her stomach. Her memories of Ri Conor’s extended family were vague at best and Bleddyn always insisted that they were judgmental of others, leaving her uneasy as she stood at the top of the steps.

  Niall glanced over at her, his expression softening. “They’re good people. They’ll love you; they always did when we were younger.”

  Ciara nodded, swallowing hard before he knocked on the door. An older woman, her red hair obviously not as vibrant as it had once been, answered. Ciara recognized her as Niall’s aunt, though for the life of her, she couldn’t recall the woman’s name. The older woman’s green eyes sparkled and she immediately pulled Niall into a hug.

  “Spirits,” she said as the two of them eased apart. “I didn’t know I would be lucky enough to get to see you two times in one week. Come in, come in.”

  The woman gestured them inside and Niall and Ciara joined her in the home’s entryway. Rhew practically danced as she trotted into the house, her ears pricked and her tail up. Niall’s aunt gave the wolf a warm greeting before she straightened and turned her attention back to Ciara and Niall.

  “We were in the village and decided to stop by,” Niall said before gesturing to Ciara. “Ciara, this is my Aunt Brynn. Aunt Brynn
, I’m sure you remember Ciara. She was always besting me with a bow when we visited Castle Cryf.”

  Brynn smiled, the warmth in the other woman’s expression easing some of Ciara’s tension. “Oh, I remember you; Lochlainn and Aideen’s daughter. Though the last time I saw you, I don’t think you were any more than twelve and you were challenging Niall to a tree climbing contest.”

  Ciara blushed at the memory while Niall let out a laugh.

  “A tree climbing contest that I remember losing, actually,” he said.

  “Yes, you were a bit slow.” Ciara gave him a mischievous smile before she turned back to Brynn. “It’s a pleasure to meet you again. I hope we aren’t intruding, stopping by unannounced like this.”

  “Nonsense.” Brynn waved her off. “You’ll be family soon enough. Come, have a seat. Odran and Doran are working and I sent Macsen to the market with Quinn, so I’m afraid you’ll only have me for company.”

  “You’re always my favorite company,” Niall said with a cheeky grin. “And my favorite aunt.”

  Brynn rolled her eyes, but the amusement in her expression made Ciara want to laugh.

  “I’m your only aunt,” she said, swatting lightly at him.

  Brynn led them into a sitting room, the wood-paneled walls decorated with a few carvings and a large tapestry depicting a running wolf. Ciara took a seat on a short chaise, a handful of furs lining the back of it. Niall settled next to her, Rhew coming to sit at his feet, while Brynn sat in a well-worn fabric-covered chair across from them.

  “Macsen and I were sorry to hear of your father’s passing,” Brynn said, her gaze on Ciara. “He and Blodwen were always so close.”

  “Thank you,” Ciara replied, biting her lip.

  The pain of her father’s loss was still present, even almost a year later, and the rejection that had come from her family since she had moved to Seabhac had only added to it. Blodwen and Lochlainn had been close and Blodwen had been more of a mother to Ciara than her own. The sting of her aunt’s silence hurt.

  Niall placed a hand on her knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before sending her a sympathetic look. She returned it with a soft smile, trying to ignore the strong desire to inch closer to him and fully allow herself to accept the comfort he offered. He’s going to be your brother-in-law, she thought, keeping herself firmly where she was on the chaise. That’s the way you need to think of him.

  “Does your mother still have her seamstress shop in Priomh?” Brynn asked.

  Ciara nodded. “Yes. It keeps her busy.”

  “Is she making your wedding gown? I’m sure it must be lovely.”

  Ciara’s thoughts flitted back to the fitting and the empty feeling she’d had while staring at her reflection. All of her doubts began to resurface once more, leaving her stomach hard. Did she have what it took to be Bleddyn’s Banrion? And even more than that, would she be happy spending the rest of her life at his side?

  Focus. She cleared her throat, trying to shove her misgivings aside. “No, actually. Bleddyn had a gown brought up from the mainland.”

  “You must be so excited.” Brynn’s expression softened. “Only a few more weeks, isn’t it?”

  “Three,” Ciara answered, unable to meet Brynn’s gaze.

  The other woman studied her for a moment, seeming to take in far more than Ciara would have liked. She shifted in her seat, her palms growing clammy again. After a moment, Brynn broke the uncomfortable silence by steering the conversation to reminiscing over Niall’s countless escapades from his childhood.

  Ciara was relieved at the change of subject and before too long, she found herself pulled into the discussion . Some of the stories even managed to coax a bit of laughter out of her and for a brief while, the heavy weight that she almost didn’t even realize she had been carrying lifted.

  “I’m going to put on some tea,” Brynn said after a particularly rousing story of Niall sneaking wolf pups into chairs at the dinner table. “Niall, can I get you to help me for just a moment?”

  “Of course,” he replied, glancing over at Ciara before getting to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”

  She nodded and he told Rhew to stay before stepping out of the room with his aunt. Rhew kept her golden eyes trained on Niall until he disappeared from view, then the white wolf let out a quiet grumble and lay down at Ciara’s feet. She smiled, looking down at the elegant creature, half-wishing her life could be as simple as Rhew’s.

  She couldn’t shake the memories of the past few weeks: Bleddyn’s short-temper, his need for everything to be precisely as he wanted it, and his blatant lie about Niall. Her stomach twisted into knots as she silently questioned just how well she truly knew the man she had agreed to marry. Sharing a home with him, instead of being hundreds of miles away from one another, had opened her eyes to a great many things. She slumped in her seat, allowing an almost inaudible sigh to escape her lips. She wanted to believe that things would change, that the charming man who had swept her off her feet would return, but the longer she shared his home, the less certain she felt.

  Chapter 10

  What Could Have Been

  Niall’s chest was tight as he followed Brynn into the kitchen. The invitation had been innocuous enough, but his aunt had always had the ability to read him more clearly than most, leaving him ill at ease over the impending conversation. She grabbed a kettle that hung on the wall, filling it with water before setting it over the hearth. Truly, she didn’t need his help, but whatever she wanted to talk about, she apparently didn’t want to discuss in front of Ciara.

  “Now,” Brynn said, turning back to face him and holding up a hand, “I know that technically, this is none of my business.”

  “Has that ever stopped you before?” He grinned and she swatted at his arm.

  “Now you sound like your father,” she said, shaking her head. “I have seen a number of women get married and to this day, I can still remember every detail of the day I married your uncle. That woman out there does not have the look of someone who is excited about her wedding day.”

  He focused intently on the circular window next to the pantry, not meeting her gaze. A dullness had settled in his chest, his throat tightening as his shoulders drooped.

  “You know how Bleddyn can be at times,” he finally replied, still looking away.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her purse her lips before she leaned against the table behind her.

  “You still care for her, don’t you?” she asked softly.

  For a moment, it was hard to breathe. He briefly contemplated lying, but the hurt was still too raw and Brynn would be certain to see right through it.

  “I never stopped,” he answered, his chin dropping to his chest.

  “Does she know that?”

  “It doesn’t matter. It won’t work between us.”

  “So, she doesn’t know then?” Brynn arched a brow, staring him down and causing him to shift uncomfortably.

  “She’s already chosen Bleddyn.”

  “Don’t you think she deserves to know the truth of how you feel? That she should have a say in this before you go deciding for the both of you that it won’t work? I remember how close the two of you were growing up and don’t think I didn’t see things start to change between you when you got older.”

  He clenched his jaw, the memories only tearing a bigger hole in his heart. “It can’t work between us.”

  “And why is that?”

  “She deserves better than me.” The words tasted bitter as he spoke them, but they were true. Ciara deserved a full life, not one clouded by judgements and prejudice. She would never have that with the likes of him.

  “And you think Bleddyn is the better option?” Brynn paused, letting out a deep breath. “I know your mother hoped that he would grow out of his more troublesome ways, but the way I see it, he hasn’t.”

  “It doesn’t matter. There can be nothing between Ciara and me.”

  “This thing that holds you back?” Brynn said, her brow furr
owing. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the rumors about you locking yourself away at Clogwyn, would it? Only speaking to your people through your advisors and warriors, never leaving the castle, not even venturing far beyond your own chambers…”

  He didn’t answer, feeling overly warm while his stomach churned at the knowledge that she was aware of the rumors that had spread like wildfire through Blaidd.

  She closed the space between them, putting a gentle hand on his arm. “I’ve known you since you were a babe in your mother’s womb. I know her death and your father’s… departure were difficult, but this isn’t like you.”

  He swallowed hard. “It has to be this way.”

  She studied him for a long moment, her brow wrinkling before she let out a quiet sigh. “You know that if you ever need to talk, about anything, your uncle and I are always willing to listen.”

  He nodded, forcing himself to meet her gaze. The compassion he saw in her eyes was almost his undoing. He longed to tell her the truth of what he was, but he didn’t know if he could bear it if the rest of his family rejected him as well. Brynn had always been like a mother to him, but the memories of how things had ended with his father made him hesitate. For a few moments, Brynn searched his face before patting his arm and heading back over to the hearth.

  “I think poor Ciara has been left out there on her own long enough,” she said, pulling the kettle off the fire and carrying it over to the table. “I can finish up in here.”

  Niall walked back into the sitting room at her dismissal, catching Ciara’s hunched over posture before she quickly hitched her shoulders back up. Her forced smile left an ache in his chest as he resumed his seat next to her.

  “Aunt Brynn will be back in just a moment,” he told her.

  She nodded and he hated the uncomfortable silence that fell between them while they awaited Brynn’s return. Ciara put on a good front, but he could tell from her expression, her posture, and the way she fidgeted with the bracelet on her arm that something was amiss. And yet, for once, he found himself at a loss for how to comfort her. When Brynn returned, she sat back down in the chair and once more drew them back into conversation. Though Ciara was mostly quiet, Niall still saw a few genuine smiles grace her features as they spoke. For a while, he lost himself in memories as Brynn discussed both his childhood and regaled them with stories of when she and his father had been young. Too soon, however, he glanced out one of the windows and noticed the sun beginning to dip lower in the sky.